alternatecarols

I'm not sure where any of this may be going. It makes my stomach twist and bend a little.
Why did I do the thing that I did?

Yeah. I just lost one of those potential life friends.

Maybe they were never meant to be one of those friends.

There's this person that I can't stop dreaming about. It's been five nights in a row and the same person comes in and lays with me.
I wish I could turn these thoughts off. Throw them out. If he can do it, why can't I?

Why can't I accept when something's done?

I have turned into such a boring person.

I wish you would just tell me how you ARE FEELING instead of not saying anything.

u rood, nigga and I don't like it.

School and work are kicking my ass.

sad;lfkjghhhejhl'aejaeehrstusi

I think I'm going to let it die.

I think it's best that way.

So this is kind of ridiculous and lame but I met the Wonder Girls and I feel so energetic. I mean, they're not really a favorite group of mine really but I don't know.

I surprised myself with my reaction. I didn't care how ugly my smile might have been or how awkward I looked. This is going to sound kind of weird, but it was like the internet world and the real world merged. It's difficult to explain. The Wonder Girls, for me, are a representation of lulz  in a shoutbox, people's reactions to different cultures and ultimately the people (people being a handful of last.fmers and an online friend or two) I have conversations about them with. It felt like my guard was let down but I wasn't behind some computer screen.

I am totally rambling now. I don't think a lot of people will understand what I mean.

Well, anyway, the girls were great. I'd like to go into detail but uhm I won't. I'll let you guys ~wonder~

Ha.

Okay.

So, like most people in my city, I have been looking for a job. It's been about three months and I finally got a call for an interview. 

I thought that I didn't have to worry about how my bills were being paid and that i could actually put money in my savings for a change. Well, I had the interview and it went exceptionally good. I was pretty optimistic about getting the job, school and life in general. It was weird.

Well, I didn't get the job. Did not get it. No! That would have been too easy.

Ugh. Chinga mi vida.

fucking hate birthdays.
I just wish they didn't exist.